Grieving families need to know you care
When tragedy strikes a family, leaving them broken and grieving, friends often want to help but don't know show appropriate support for the family or what gift would be appropriate. When words don't seem enough, there are gifts that show you care.
Books
When you don't know what to say, give a book to express what's in your heart. Check online or at your local bookstore for suggestions. Remember that a grieving family may be in shock and not have the heart or attention span to read books that delve into the psychological aspects of grieving. Look for short works with short chapters. Books should be appealing and comforting in appearance as well as text. Look into gift books specifically for people in mourning or books that contain stories of others who have dealt with similar situations.
Food
A grieving family often has little time to think about food, and this can be especially true when the family loses a mother. Bringing in a hot meal for the family can provide comfort and sustenance. Ask ahead of time about likes and dislikes and about allergies or sensitivities. You might prepare several meals the family can freeze and use as needed. Or you can provide a coupon for pizza or other delivery or carry-out option.
Evening Out
If the tragedy has kept the family housebound for a while, consider a gift of an evening out. Let them know you aren't expecting them to be good company, and that you're just offering support and a listening ear should they wish to talk. Another option is to ask them to come to your home for a meal if you thinks this might be less stressful.
Cleaning House
After losing a family member, extended family and friends often grieve together at the family's home. The immediate family may feel overwhelmed by the need to clean up their house, but have little energy resources to do so. A gift you can give a grieving family is an offer to clean. This might be simply running the vacuum and dusting. It might mean organizing the kitchen, doing laundry or cleaning the bathroom. Let the grieving family know you will do whatever is needed. Be sure not to snoop into their private affairs or, if things aren't as clean as they should be, to gossip about the situation.
Memory Book
Purchase a photo album or scrapbook. Collect and/or print pictures of the family and the deceased family member from happier times. Find and print out appropriate verse and quotes, even scripture if it applies. Add a few of your own positive memories. Put them all together for a unique and very special memory book for the family.
Children
For the children of a grieving family, especially if the children are young, think in terms of things they can listen to or cuddle with. Present each smaller child with a large stuffed animal or cuddly toy. Add a CD or DVD of a comforting story or songs. Make sure to talk to a parent before you present the gifts to make sure the gift will be welcomed and appropriate.
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