Reading body language is just as important to interaction with other people as speech. Most people don't even consciously do it--the ability is seemingly inherent. However, you can train yourself to read other people's body language as well as consciously control your own. These techniques are very common in certain professional sectors, such as sales, public relations and law enforcement, as well as in more personal settings involving flirting and friendship.
Eye Contact
Most people assume that if a person fails to maintain eye contact, they are lying about something. However, eye contact in itself is a deceptive indicator of emotion. If you actually try to have a conversation with someone while maintaining eye contact the entire time, you will probably fail. Eye contact can indicate aggression in an animal sense, and it triggers a primal and subconscious response of nervousness and discomfort. It can even induce complete fear and paranoia in some people. It seems a bit backwards, but people who are deliberately lying will often attempt to maintain eye contact longer than normal, in an attempt to make you think they are not trying to deceive you.
Hands and Handshakes
Gesturing with the hands can mean many things. A lot of people simply have a habit of compulsively gesticulating when they speak, whereas others may gesture out of irritation, nervousness or when in deep thought. Aside from gesturing for emphasis, frequent touching of the hands or arms can indicate nervousness. Touching the face, particularly the chin, lips and cheeks, often indicates thinking. Handshakes are another clue. Everyone is familiar with the deal-sealing strong handshake, but that kind of pressure is also used when an individual is trying to assert his importance or confidence. A weak, quick handshake is often an indicator of discomfort or fear.
Stance
The most common and easily recognized defensive stance is standing or sitting with the arms crossed over the chest. This is a particularly strong indicator in women, as covering the chest can cover other things as well and is a double stop sign to those attempting to flirt with her. When a person is sitting or standing facing you, with the hands in the pockets or hooked in a belt, that is an open stance. This position is indicative of receptive emotions, and the individual is likely listening and interested in what you are saying. Additionally, if the individual is sitting, with crossed legs, leaning away from you or sitting sideways, that person is probably feeling defensive. If you are trying to get someone to feel more comfortable with you, be sure to adopt the open postures yourself.
Tags: body language, maintain contact, Most people, other people, sitting with